the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Let's get the cat blown out
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
