I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
