YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
