It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
