it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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