I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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