The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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