I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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