this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I would ride that face into the sunset
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