I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You're like the curious george of whores
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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