Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
