whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Man, jail baloney is awful.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
