I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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