Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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