i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
