I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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