I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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