He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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