You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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