I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I wish you could order shots online.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
