You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
