the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
