i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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