If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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