apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
