I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
