WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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