i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My dick has a subreddit
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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