Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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