You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
