she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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