I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
