Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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