she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
