she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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