Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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