Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
