Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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