You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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