she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
is it fun? or sober?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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