just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
