roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
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