I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You pole danced in your parka.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
