I seem to have left my pride at pride
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
