I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
