I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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