I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Someone came in the potted fern
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
