he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
