woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
