We won't sleep together?
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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