She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
