I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
