I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
