i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
