You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
