Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
