She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
