i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
How does one acquire holy water?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
