i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
