You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
