Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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