So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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